Issuing Rejection

Today I was very sinful. I haven’t ever told this many lies in a row before.

Kara has a stalker. His name is Cyril. They met at a high school dance at Purdue at 4H camp when Kara was 17. He was short and ugly and had a mustache. Naturally, he immediately became enamored with our heroine. Kara spent the evening trying to rid herself of him. Sadly, she had to go to bed early in the girls’ dormitory in order to succeed.

Very unfortunately, Cyril was able to get young Kara’s home phone number through sneaky connections. He called her several times that summer, much to the distress of our heroine. Finally, Kara’s father had to get on the phone and tell him to never call his daughter again.

For nearly three years, Kara lived in (almost) blissful peace. That peace was interrupted when Cyril called Shingle Paradise today, and Kara answered. As soon as he identified himself, Kara hung up the phone.

Three minutes later, the phone rang again. I answered. The following conversation ensued:

“Hello, this is Shingle Paradise.”
“Hey, is this Kara?"
"No, this is Jessica"
"Who?"
"Jessica"
"Can I talk to Kara?"
“I’m sorry, but Kara moved to Wyoming.”
“Really? I just talked to her a few minutes ago.”
“Oh, that must have been Karen. Kara hasn’t lived here for like two years.”
“Her facebook profile said she’s graduating from Purdue this year.”
“Well, it must be wrong. Would you like her new phone number?”
“Yes, please.”

At this point there was a long pause in the conversation while Kara and I searched online for the Rejection Hotline number.

“Are you still there?”
“Yeah.”
“Alright, it’s 641-985-7888.”
“Thanks.”

Several minutes later, our phone began ringing again. I unplugged it. If any of you try to call SP and we don’t answer, that’s why. Try a cell.